The Road Taken

""I shall be telling this with a sigh,
somewhere ages and ages hence..."
[The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost]

I have communed with Nature since I was a little girl. Having lived by the ocean all my life, rock and water, wind-swept fields of wildflowers, groves of poplar and birch, were all my playgrounds. I lived a "pagan lifestyle" long before my regimented, Christian upbringing which gently forced, and then strongly suggested, regular attendance at church. Properly attired in dress, hat and gloves, I listened from a tender age to the stories of the Bible--intrigued, but not quite understanding a vehement God who could strike you dead with one hand, and with the other, bestow forgiveness, simply for the asking. I don't remember the precise moment that it stopped being merely confusing and that blind acceptance became more than I could give, but I eventually felt the deception as something tangible.

It has only been in recent years--since the internet has given easy access to research and the terms pagan and heathen and (God forbid) Wiccan didn't seem so negative--that I started to explore other spiritual paths. There was always a tiny, nagging fear that that metaphorical bolt of lightning might still strike me down dare I even explore this beautiful pathway.

The fear is gone and has been replaced by a contentment of spirit and a peaceful heart. While I would never deny this new enlightenment, I still would not intentionally mention it to my family and some of my friends. Not because I am ashamed or embarrassed, but mostly because they just wouldn't understand. So I suppose I am somewhat "in the closet" still, but I will openly embrace this new communion.

I have much to learn. And that is what this journey is all about.